| Click on Image to View Card Image |
| Image | Joke or Saying |
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Work/Office
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Employer to applicant:
'In this job we need someone who is responsible.'
Applicant: 'I'm the one you want. On my last job,
everytime anything went wrong, they said I was
responsible.
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Work/Office
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Hard work has a future payoff.
Laziness pays off NOW.
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Work/Office
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Experience is directly proportional
to the amount of equipment ruined.
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Work/Office
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Some people who think they're in the groove
are just in a rut.
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Work/Office
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A penny saved
is a government oversight.
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Work/Office
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The ultimate office automation --
networked coffee.
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Work/Office
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Disk Crash --
A typical computer response
to any critical deadline.
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Work/Office
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Warning -- Dates in Calendar are
closer than they appear.
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Work/Office
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I love deadlines.
I especially love the swooshing sound
they make as they go flying by.
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Work/Office
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If a train station is where the train stops
and a bus station is where the bus stops,
what is a work station?
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Work/Office
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An applicant was filling out a job application.
When he came to the question,
'Have you ever been arrested?'
He answered 'No'.
The next question, intended for people who answered
affirmative to the last one, was 'Why?'
The applicant answered it anyway:
'Never got caught.'
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Work/Office
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43.3%
of statistics are meaningless!
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Work/Office
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Some people work up steam
and some only generate a fog
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Work/Office
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We do precision guesswork.
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Work/Office
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Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap,
park elsewhere!
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Work/Office
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person
asked a young applicant, fresh out of Business School, 'And what
starting salary are you looking for?'
The applicant said, 'In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending
on the benefits package.'
The interviewer said, 'Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks
vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching
retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years --
say, a red Corvette?'
The applicant sat up straight and said, 'Wow, are you kidding?'
And the interviewer replied, 'Yeah, but you started it.'
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Work/Office
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If the pen is mightier than the sword,
and a picture is worth a thousand words,
how dangerous is a FAX?
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