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| Image | Joke or Saying |
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Computer Stuff
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A mainframe --
The biggest PC peripheral available.
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General
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Don't assume malice
for what stupidity
can explain.
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Computer Stuff
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Maniac:
An early computer built by nuts.
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General
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Some people kiss with their eyes closed.
Too bad they also marry the same way.
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General
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There are three kinds of mathematicians:
Those who can count
and those who can't.
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Computer Stuff
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When computing, whatever happens,
behave as though you meant it to happen.
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General
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A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
'Doctor, I have an earache.'
2000 B.C. - 'Here, eat this root.'
1000 B.C. - 'That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - 'That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1949 A.D. - 'That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - 'That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - 'That antibiotic is artificial, here eat this root.
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Computer Stuff
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Computers are like men...
In order to get their attention you have to turn them on.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
time they are the problem.
They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that,
if you had waited a little longer you could have had
a better model.
They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
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General
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Some people keep repeating the same mistakes over and over
and call it experience.
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General
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An object at rest will always
be in the wrong place.
An object in motion will always
be headed in the wrong direction.
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Computer Stuff
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Is reading in the bathroom
considered Multi-Tasking?
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Computer Stuff
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Multitasking:
Screwing up several things at once.
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General
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Once I had multiple personalities,
but now we are feeling well.
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Computer Stuff
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Access Denied---
nah nah na nah nah!
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General
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Consciousness --
That annoying time between naps.
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General
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If he isn't there the first time you need him,
chances are you won't be needing him again.
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General
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Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes
instead of old ones.
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General
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Some people get credit for having a nice personality
when they are just proud of their teeth.
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General
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Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home.
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General
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Nostalgia --
The good old days
multiplied by a bad memory...
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