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Computer Stuff
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All computers wait
at the same speed.
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Computer Stuff
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It says: 'Please Wait...'
It means: '...indefinitely.'
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General
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A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen,
shaking frantically with what looked like a wire
running from his waist towards the electric kettle.
Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current
she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the
back door, breaking his arm in two places.
Till that moment he had been happily listening
to his Walkman.
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Work/Office
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If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
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General
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You enter a laboratory and see an experiment.
How will you know which class is it?
If it's green and wiggles, it's Biology.
If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's Physics.
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General
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After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into
old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash
her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more
ramabunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw
a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting
them back to bed with stearn warnings. As she left the room
she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
'Who was that?'
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General
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Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
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General
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Everybody is somebody else's wierdo...
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General
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Where there's a will,
I want to be in it.
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Computer Stuff
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WINDOW:
What you heave the computer out of after you
accidently erase a program that took you
three days to set up.
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General
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Some people are wise
and some are other-wise.
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Computer Stuff
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If only women came with pull-down menus
and online help.
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Computer Stuff
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Computers are like women...
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory
for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
You do the same thing for years and suddenly it's wrong.
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General
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Women who seek to be equal to men
lack ambition.
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Work/Office
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Some people are like blisters.
They don't appear until all the work is done.
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General
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Don't worry:
the answer's at the back of the book.
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General
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We have enough youth,
how about a fountain of Smart?
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